I am not sure whether the exhaustion brings on the depression or the depression brings on the exhaustion. Either way I am drained. I don't seem to have any energy for work. Of course, there's only a few weeks left before summer break and everyone is drained at this point. But I've never felt so downright burned out before. It's crazy to be so effected by elements that are so often under my control.

In fact I'm so beat that even writing about it is making me yawn. I need a nanny and a trustfund. If there are any wealthy philanthropists who give large amounts of money to individuals instead of charities, and if those said wealthy philanthropists aren't in the economic doldrums because of the recession (which has arrived), and they just happen to feel that I am a worthy cause, please write me a check. I would be greatful.

Or perhaps someone out there knows a way to rig powerball. I'm down for something like that. My moral profile has always included a slight ethical flexibility. Hell, I don't think rigging a lottery is that horrible of a thing anyway. But still, I'd probably feel bad about it, just not bad enough to forfeit the winnings.

Now if I happen to win powerball this week, someone will undoubtedly read this and suspect the worst. So let me just say it now - I didn't rig this week's powerball. There - conscience clear.

Signs of Age

Perhaps I am growing old. It's usually a sign of age when you get frustrated with young people. I am frustrated with young people. They whine to much. They don't do shit. And they expect the world. I am old and experienced and I know that whining and laziness result not in the world but a pervasive unhappy apathetic malaise.

Young people don't listen either. I was young and lazy once, though I don't think I whined too much. And my elders gave me great advice, advice that might have changed my life. And I didn't listen because I was arrogant. And now that I am an elder, I can empathize with other elders. And we can get together and complain about the complacency of the youth. This doesn't make us any happier, though. So I will stop whining now, because that is really what I'm doing.

I am off, off to eliminate the whining laziness of our nation's youth using whatever means necessary, though I excel at chicanery and mischieviousness. And shame. And guilt. I am good at shame and guilt. Farewell.

Shut Up About Your Damn Taxes...

Taxes are good. They pay for things we use everyday without realizing it - things like roads, which no one seems to want to give up. I'm not thrilled about taxation, but I'm thrilled that I can call the fire department to save my house or that I can call the police department to save my life. Those are good, valuable things. I appreciate government spending like the Clean Air Act, particularly when it's not foiled by policitians who value the free market over the lives of the individuals who create and sustain the market. So I like taxes. I'm glad to pay them.

I realize that taxation has its negative aspects as well. Our taxes shouldn't be used in the corporate welfare system. Also, I'm not quite sure how I feel about agricultural subsidies. I like cheap food, and I'm glad that my family, who farm, has job security, but there's something uncomfortably immoral about the way our country handles food products. And don't get me started on the war. But part of being a citizen is dealing with things when they don't always go your way. I vote, and I deal with it. So shut up about your damn taxes and appreciate the way of life that they sustain.

"So, tell me again, why is the sky blue?" the little boy asked for what seemed like the millionth time.

"Well," his grandpa replied, "it has to do with molecules and light. You see, the blue light waves get scattered and radiated in all sorts of different directions. So that's what you see. The other colors don't get scattered; they just shoot right through." And here the grandpa paused to let it sink in. Then he decided to add a name because people remember facts better when they can add a name. So he continued, "An English scientist named John Rayleigh discovered why the sky is blue about 140 years ago." The grandpa stopped to see how things were going: "Does that make sense to you?"

"Well, a little bit, sure," said the little boy.

Then there was a long pause.

"But can I just tell my little sister that tiny blue fairies fly around in the sky real fast so we see the blue of them whizzing by?" asked the little boy somewhat hesitantly.

"Yeah," said the grandpa, "that's a good explanation too."