08 May 2008

Fuck You World

There are days when I walk in to work - I teach at an amazing yet chaotic alternative/college prep high school - and I just want to scream and go off like it's a mosh pit. One of my students, a freshman at that, got nabbed for burglary and assault. It's not his first felony either, so he'll be doing time. The student in question chose me as his mentor. He checked in with me a couple of times a week, and things seemed to being going well. He had great support from a family member, and he was thriving. But his family seems to be a plague. His brother got caught too; I tried to "save" his brother last year, but he dropped out anyway. It's like I'm headed to a fight with a dead herring.

Then there's the pregnant senior who started the year with everything, I mean everything - she was on track for valedictorian, full-ride scholarships, the works - but she met a fucked up 30 year old pervert whose idea of a good night was to get stoned and have unprotected sex. Now she's pregnant. She quit the weed, but she still smokes a half pack a day. I doubt she'll even start college. Every teacher in the building watched it happen, but we sure as hell weren't passive. We begged and pleaded and cajoled and yelled, and the principal almost went vigilante on the guy; but we were about as potent as a fart in the wind.

Our senior class started out ten strong. We'll be lucky if half make it the last few weeks. It's infuriating. And the freshman are no better. They have no passion. I understand laziness, procrastination even, but there's no love, no elan vital. It's like a lobotomy workshop somedays. And every member of the faculty is an activist of some sort or another, so the student faculty dichotomy is crazy.

Maybe all teachers have these days/weeks/semesters. Which perhaps explains the teacher attrition rate.

But there are bright spots - the student who found her voice in writing, the student who is getting his diploma because of his two year old daughter, the unexpected acting class which has saved a few of the students who would have drifted away. We have our moments, not many, but we have them.

2 Comments:

Blogger KarmaTee said...

You know it's the bright spots that make us all work like this. You can't save 'em all, and it's not for you to do that, anyway. It's for the one or two people in a week, month, year, lifetime who are better off because of the time you took. It's not meant to be arrogant or self-righteous that I say that, though I know how it sounds. You give of yourself, you pull your hair out when people fuck up, and you clench your fists more often than you should. But you also smile and realize that you couldn't ever do a job that didn't involve the ups and downs. Here's the the public sector: Cheers.

5:33 PM  
Blogger MP said...

You're right. Sometimes venting helps. We had our senior dinner tonight, and we'll have 8 of 10 getting their diplomas. 80% is better than most schools, so I walk happily these days and whistle a little tune. Peace.

10:24 PM  

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