preface par excellence

If, or maybe I should say when, I publish a work of non-fiction, I plan to break the rules a bit. The preface of nearly every "academic" work I've read in college and grad school contains some form of disclaimer. The author goes about thanking everyone who helped in the writing and research of the book and concludes by saying that any faults or errors in the book are attributable exclusively to the author. The disclaimer is a gesture of humility on the one hand, a way of saying that the brilliance of the text was the product of many but the faults the product of one. But on the other it's an empty formality. Empty because it appears in every book without fail & because books of that sort have been read and proofread so often that there should be no errors at all. It's not very encouraging, after all, if someone begins a persuasive argument by saying, "Here's what I think. . . . if I'm wrong it's my own fault." Just think of the legal nightmares if litigators began their cases that way.

Nietzsche makes no such disclaimers. In the preface to On the Genealogy of Morals, he says, "If this book is incomprehensible to anyone and jars on his ears, the fault, it seems to me, is not necessarily mine." How brazen! What an incredibly rebellious act against stagnant conventions. But I guess that epitomizes Nietzsche (rebellion against stagnant conventions being the theme of the book). He goes on to say that readers will have no trouble understanding the book if they've read his previous texts. He elaborates by saying that reading is a lost art and that rumination is necessary. Interestingly, one definition of rumination is "chewing cud." Cows have multiple stomachs and digest their food multiple times. Readers are rarely so thorough. I guess if readers get in the habit of chewing the cud, they will have no problem understanding philosophical treatises. (Of course, contemporary academia makes no such allowances for rumination - there's too many books to read and too little time - once through ought to be enough. Ha.)

Without further ado, the conclusion to the preface of my as-yet-unwritten academic treatise:

Finally, I would like to say that any faults in the following book are quite clearly not mine and only feasible under the following circumstances. First: the unlikely event that the publisher, editor, and multiple proofreaders failed to find the fault, failed to make the necessary correction, and/or failed to alert me. This includes typographical errors in the manuscript and errors of logic and argumentation as well. Ultimately, the fault rests not with me but with the myriad folks who were all paid quite well to see that any problems were discovered and corrected prior to publication. Second: the more likely event that you, dear reader, did not give yourself adequate time to read the book, understand the argument, and make the logical connections necessary for a thorough understanding of the text. I worked hard on this book, and I stand by my work. Perhaps you should find a tutor or reading group that can help you become a better reader. Better yet, reread the book not once, not twice but thrice before you push it away claiming incomprehensibility. (If you're a post-secondary reader then much of the fault lies with your professors who assigned a difficult text without adequate time for explanation. However, the fault is not entirely theirs. You are, after all, the only one truly responsible for your education.) Really reader, all that is required is rumination.